Balance

  Well, it’s official.  We have a robin’s nest in our yard.  We found it last weekend.  Well, the guys who mow our lawn found it. I had hoped to be home when they arrived so I could tell them what I thought the safe perimeter – for both them and the robins – was.  But we had gone for a walk and got home just after they started.  It was too late.  The guys got too close to the nest and the robins were upset.  I felt bad – for both the robins and the guys mowing, but mostly for the guys.  I don’t like to stress the robins out, but despite the size difference, they can take care of themselves.  On the upside, the guys were able to show us where the nest is.  And it turns out we can see it from our bedroom window.  So, I can watch them and take pictures of them without them even knowing.  I sound like a stalker.  Well, I guess I kind of am.

The first day we saw one baby in the nest.  So exciting!  The second day we saw two!  The nest is lower than we would have expected, and I was REALLY close the first time they told me in no uncertain terms to get out.  There must have already been eggs in there.  If it was me, I would have told someone to get out too.

So, we are doing a balancing act.

Balancing being in our yard, doing the things we want and need to do, while giving the robins the space they need to feel safe – in their yard.  We are figuring out where is okay to be while they are there and where is not.

Life is a balancing act.  We have heard about work-life balance for years.  It’s hard.  Is it really possible?  I don’t know.  I think it depends on your circumstances, but let’s face it, no matter what your circumstances, it’s hard.  I don’t think we can have a perfect balance all the time, but we do the best we can.  We can do what makes us feel safe, what makes us feel in control.  A friend called me once and was unloading her dishwasher.  She said, “The world is bonkers, but I can have a clean kitchen.”

Doesn’t that just sum it up?  No matter what is going on outside, there is hopefully at least one thing we can control.  Recently, I hurt my back.  It made controlling things in my life harder.  Cleaning the kitchen, working in the yard to make it tidier… I didn’t feel like I was in control of much.  But one thing I could control and I knew would be good for me was going for a walk.  It would hopefully loosen up my back, and getting outside in the sunshine is always a good thing.

So, my wonderful husband and I went for a walk.  I checked the weather first to know if I needed a jacket, or if my sweater would do.  There was no rain in the forecast until later so I didn’t bring an umbrella.  Because of my back, I was travelling as lightly as I could.

We went for a leisurely walk – I had just hurt my back that morning and wasn’t moving very fast at all – and it was lovely.  Then we saw a big black cloud ahead of us.  I thought we were a little too close so we turned around – kind of like with the robins.  Staying safe, and all that.  We stopped at our local convenience store to get a snack before heading back home.  We got out of the store and my husband said “it’s raining”.  Huh.  It was raining just a little.  No problem.  As my mom used to tell me: we won’t melt.  A walk in the rain – when it’s only a little rain – can actually be kind of nice.

Then it started raining a little more.  And then more.  And soon it wasn’t just a little rain anymore.  I kept saying “I checked!  It wasn’t supposed to rain until later!  I checked!”.  I was really pretty irritated about the whole thing, and soon I was moving a lot faster.  It was starting to thunder, and as our national weather service says “When thunder roars, stay indoors”. (Catchy, isn’t it? It really stays with you.)  But there was no way to go indoors.  There was nowhere to go except someone else’s house, and we didn’t know anyone around.  We passed a couple of guys who sarcastically said, “Nice weather, huh?” They weren’t dressed for it either.  Because THERE WAS NO RAIN IN THE FORECAST.  Anyway, I said a prayer asking for us to get home safe, and moved faster than I thought my back could take me.  Minutes after we got home, it started hailing.  Good grief.  But we got home safely.  And I gratefully said “Thank You!” for that.

My back was loosened up for a while, having been moved out of its comfort zone.

I am a bit of (well, okay, not such a bit) of a control freak.  I admit it.  (Don’t judge – we all have our thing, and those things are likely rooted in other things.)  And when things feel out of control, I, like my friend, clean my kitchen.  It always makes me feel better to see it looking better, even if it’s not completely clean and tidy.

So, I didn’t have a lot of control that day.  The fact that I couldn’t do the things I wanted to annoyed me and was inconvenient, but I knew it could have been a lot worse.

There wasn’t a lot of balance that day. But I tried.  In my planner, there is a section each week titled Weekly Focus.  Often, my weekly focus is balance and/or self-care.  I don’t always remember it’s my focus, but I try.  They say there is something about writing things down that helps us to remember them. So, I write it down, and try to remember to keep my balance.  Everyone’s balance is different.  And the focus changes.  My balance is usually between doing and slowing down.  I’m better at the doing part than the slowing down, but I try.  Because if I don’t, I pay for it.  Doing, doing, doing just isn’t good for me.  And the world can be a busy place, full of doing, doing, doing.

Maybe we can learn from the robins.  There is a time for sitting on our nest, protecting what we love or what is good for us, and keeping it safe, and there is a time to stand up for it to ourselves and others and just say no if we can.  No, I’m not taking on that new project, no, I can’t go for lunch that day, no I’m not going to watch tv instead of going for a walk.  Or saying yes – which usually means saying no to something else.  Yes, I’m going to take on this project because it’s something I love to do, yes, I am going out in the garden to have some time for myself and create something beautiful.  Standing up for ourselves to others and even to ourselves can be hard, but sometimes it’s necessary.  It’s necessary to keep what is good for us safe – and maybe that will keep us sane.

So, for now, when the world gets to be too much and I feel that I am losing some control, I am going to go sit on my bed, look out the window, and watch the robin’s nest.  And then, maybe I will clean my kitchen.