This week we had a holiday called Family Day. It’s supposed to be a day where people can spend time with their families. The only problem with that is that places where people typically go with their families – or how they get to those places – have to have people working there. Employees who have to work on Family Day can’t spend time with their families.
My understanding is that the origins of Family Day are less than noble. A politician’s son was caught with drugs and to divert the negative attention, the politician created a new holiday. A day to spend with your family, emphasizing the importance of family values. (I’m sure the politician denied that was the reason, but it sure looked that way.) In theory it is a good idea, and it doesn’t matter how it came to be if it can do some good, but in my opinion it does have its flaws.
Regardless of the politics or possible issues of Family Day, it got me thinking about well, you guessed it, families. Families are not always easy. Despite what we see on sitcoms, our families don’t always get along, don’t always agree, and don’t always work out their differences in 30 minutes or less. Family can be messy. But many of the best relationships are. We talk about things, work them out, and hopefully grow in our relationship. It doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes the damage is simply too great. But hopefully we have the courage to try.
And family is not the same for everyone. Your family photo won’t look the same as my family photo. (Or like the family photo above, I would wager.) It used to be that a family was mom and dad, two kids, and maybe a dog. Now the world has finally realized that family can be more than that. Maybe your family is your roommate. Maybe your family is that you are a couple without children. Maybe your family is you and your pet. Maybe your family are your close friends. Maybe your family is you and your kids. Maybe your family is, in fact, mom and dad and two kids. Or maybe your family is a combination of some or all of these things. Maybe it is none of these things. Whatever it is, it is unique to you, as it should be.
Once, someone I had just met asked me if I have a family. She meant, of course, do I have kids. I wasn’t sure what to say. We don’t have kids, but we are a family. And we have extended family, and friends who are family to us. But when the world asks if we have a family, that isn’t what they mean. I understand why – decades of the “traditional” family have engrained it in us. But why does it have to be that way? I know that there are people in the world who for various reasons do not have blood related family. Or maybe they are estranged from them. And that makes me sad. But hopefully most of us have at least one person in our life we consider family. We are not meant to go through this life alone. Some of us are introverts, but that’s not the same. It’s why isolation is so hard – solitary confinement is a punishment, after all – and so damaging to our mental health. We all need to know there are people in our corner. People who will cheer us on. People who love us and will be there for us.
Your people may not be “related” to you. And that’s okay. I have people who are related to me who will be there for me, but I am so blessed to also have people in my life who are not “related” to me but are without a doubt part of my family.
Whether you live in a place that celebrates Family Day or not, I hope that you can take some time out with your family – whatever that means to you – to relax and enjoy each other. But I think sometimes we put too much pressure on specific days needing to be perfect. I spent much of our Family Day tidying my closet while my husband was doing his own thing. We weren’t necessarily together the whole day, but we were both around and it was an extra day to be a little more relaxed than we usually are during the week.
Sometimes life – like family – is messy. It just is. We do the best that we can and hopefully we can rely on our family to help us get through the mess. And sometimes there is some fun to be found in all that mess. Especially if we are making the mess together.
Happy Family Day!