I have some lovely dishes that belonged to my grandparents and great-grandparents. A cream and sugar set, glasses, tea cups and saucers, plates, fruit dishes… They all belonged to different relatives. Some dishes are very old now, some are not so old. But I love them, and the people they came from. That’s why I have them. Some I use, and some I don’t.
We use my grandparents’ plates almost every day. Maybe because they used them as everyday dishes. They aren’t fancy, but I remember using them growing up when I was staying with them, so they mean something to me. When my sugar bowl broke, I needed to get another one. In the meantime, I thought I would use my great-grandma’s sugar bowl. I have her cream and sugar set and thought that while it isn’t my style, it would work for a while. Then I decided I really liked using it and we have been using it ever since.
We have lovely china in the Old Country Roses pattern. It was given to friends as a wedding present, and they really didn’t like the pattern, so they gave us some of the set. We use them fairly often.
Then there are the dishes that don’t get used. I don’t know that I ever planned to use them. I liked them, and liked the fact that they came from my family, so I took them when we cleaned out my grandma and grandpa’s house.
And now I am asking myself “Why aren’t I using them? What am I waiting for?” We always hear about the good china sitting in a cabinet and only being used for special occasions. But why? Yes, they could get broken. I have broken at least one of my grandparents’ plates and really, it broke my heart. I felt so bad and so guilty. I have cups and glasses that I am afraid of breaking. They are old and some may not have ever been used. But isn’t that what they are for? To be used and enjoyed? Yes, we might want to pass them down to someone someday. But even if we want to pass them on, will those kids want them? And if they do, do we think that the dishes will be too worn out to pass on if we use them?
We hear things about living life to the fullest, dancing like no one is watching, eating dessert first, and to use the good china because life is too short. There is certainly something to be said for that. But if we think more practically, would the artists who created these beautiful pieces appreciate having them sitting in my china cabinet collecting dust? Even if they were mass produced, there was an artist somewhere along the way designing them. When I decorate a cake, I don’t want the recipient to put it in the freezer and pull it out to look at every so often. I want them to enjoy it! To hopefully have a sense of the love I put into designing, making, and decorating it for them. I can’t help but think that the artists who made all of my beautiful dishes would want me to use them.
So I decided to start using them. I was going to use one of my grandpa’s glasses at supper. They were glasses that I had always admired when I was growing up, and it was a big deal when he would let me use one. My grandparents were farmers. They moved into town when I was a little girl, but after he retired, my grandpa still went to the farm every day. There was always something that needed fixing, vegetables to be harvested from the garden, or work to be done on restoring his beautiful old trucks. My grandpa liked routine. And my grandma probably liked that he wasn’t underfoot all day. Often when he would get home at the end of the day, he and my grandma would have a drink before supper. There was a familiar but special routine to it all, watching him get the glasses out of the special cabinet, pouring the drinks, and stirring them. And I was allowed to have a glass of pop. It was such a treat. I felt so grown up, having a drink before dinner. (Grandparents get to let you do the fun things that your parents would never let you do.)
Do you know what happened when I took that beautiful glass out of the china cabinet? It was dusty and needed washing before I could even use it. The rest of those beautiful dishes were dusty too. What a shame.
So, one day soon, I am going to take a day to take everything down from the china cabinet, clean the shelves, and wash the dishes so we can use them. In the meantime, I’ve taken a few of them out now, making them shiny and clean just as they deserve, and put them in with our “everyday” dishes so they get used. I’m not saving them for a “special occasion”. I’m using them now. The glasses that I took out may never have been used, and it felt wrong using them the first time. Kind of like eating chocolate ice cream while sitting on my grandma’s white carpet. We were cleaning out the house and had sold all of the furniture. There was nowhere else to sit, but it just felt wrong. But we did it anyway.
If the dishes get broken, so be it. I will be sad for a while, but at least I will have truly appreciated them. I can’t imagine that they will get too worn out to be used by someone else later, but even if they do, I will know that they were well used and well loved. And I will think of the people I loved that they belonged to, just as I do when I use my grandparents’ plates, my great-grandma’s sugar bowl, and our friends’ china.
And really, isn’t that why I have them to begin with?